


Shower of Tears

by bright73



Series: Revelations -  tags to  5.23/24 Grave Danger [2]
Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Psychological Trauma, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-20
Updated: 2011-06-20
Packaged: 2017-10-20 14:29:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/213749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bright73/pseuds/bright73
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Warrick falls apart and is picked up again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shower of Tears

He felt like a fucking moron, sitting in his SUV and watching. Always watching. Like a hawk, waiting for Gil to leave Nick's house.

Gil had looked at him rather strangely at the growl Warrick had been unable to hide on hearing that Gil Grissom would be taking Nick home. To hell with Gil's explanation that it was his job, Warrick didn't buy that for a second. It wasn't jealousy, or at least that was what he had tried to tell himself all the way from the hospital. Of course he had followed Gil's car at a safe distance, trying to remain unobserved. That was 3 hours ago and he was still sitting here, gripping the steering wheel like a lifeline, his eyes glued to Nick's front door.

It was too soon, only a week since that damned night, the night that still gave him nightmares on a regular basis. If he was having nightmares that left him breathless, what was it doing to Nicky? It was too early, far too early for Nick to leave the hospital, was he the only one who understood that? Nick needed constant attendance, why didn't they understand? He had told the nurse preparing Nick's discharge papers off. Loud and clear. They were still pumping enormous amounts of antibiotics into him and he was still sleeping thanks to sedatives. Why'd they go and listen to Nicky anyway? They should be immune to begging puppy eyes, shouldn't they? After all, they were supposed to be professionals and not listen to pleas for release. Goddammit, Nicky needed to be taken care of. By him, he didn't trust anybody else to see the small signs he picked up on in an instant. That small shiver of his voice, the tic at the corner of his left eye, that was a new one and sure as hell he'd go all tense and twitchy a moment after it appeared. Only he saw all those signs, not the doctor or the nurses, not even Gil, only him. Maybe that was why he was sitting here hanging on to the steering wheel. Fuck, Nicky was wreaking havoc with his composure; he was yelling at people, kicking at chairs in the waiting room and glaring. Jesus, even Cath had told him to simmer down.

But how the hell was he supposed to simmer down when Nick stiffened and his breath hitched while gripping a drinking glass? When he occasionally seemed to drift off and stare into a void, his jaw tensing and fingers bending into claws? When a sudden sound could force sweat to bead on his temples? For fuck's sake, were they blind? He banged the steering wheel hard with his fist, cursing out loud in his increasing worry. He was debating with himself, should he stroll in to Nick house looking all casual and just wait Gil out? Gil was already eyeing him suspiciously and he didn't believe he would pull casual off. Not right now when all he wanted to do was run in, shove Griss to the side, throw his arms around Nick and just hold on for dear life. Casual was definitely out of the question. In fact, he was starting to worry someone would call the cops, who in their right mind would be sitting in their SUV for hours, staring at a door? If it were anybody else staring at Nick's door he'd have called the cops hours ago. Just another sign that Nick wasn't safe and nobody picked up on it. Anything could happen and nobody seemed to notice. Warrick groaned out loud at the realization.

He jumped when Nick's door finally opened and Gil stepped out. Holding his breath his eyes followed the man leisurely walking to his car. Was he crazy? Leaving Nick alone already? As soon as Gil drove off Warrick leapt out of his car and ran across the street to Nick's door. Raising his hand to knock he found himself eye to eye with Nick.

Nick looked tired and Warrick had to stop himself from reaching out to grip his arm, steer him to the sofa, pull out a blanket and bed him down. But he saw no signs of panic and he was finally able to breathe a little easier.

"I was wondering when you'd find your way outta the car," Nick said with a small grin and moved to let Warrick inside. "Even ordered you a pizza, all the fixings, right? Should be here in about 10."

Warrick was again left speechless. It was becoming a habit with him as of lately and it was disturbing, to put it mildly.

He re-arranged his face to a less surprised expression and walked in. "You all right? You really should be resting you know." Too late he realized that even though he had his face in neutral mode, his voice wasn't. Too tense, close to accusatory. "Griss left?" He added in tone that hopefully matched his face.

"Only to pick up some groceries," Nick replied. "You all right Rick? You look about to keel over if you ask me. When did you last sleep?"

"You could have asked me," Warrick interrupted, walking into the living room, careful to keep his back to Nick.

"Asked you what?"

"To pick up the groceries."

"Hard to talk to a man hiding in his car."

Warrick smirked, Nick wasn't letting go of this one. He stole a furtive glance over his shoulder at the man following him. "You have everything you need Nicky? Prescriptions? Coffee? Anything you need, tell me."

"Gil's picking everything up so do me a favor and sit down." Nick gestured in the direction of the sofa. "You want a beer? I think that's the only thing in the fridge that hasn't turned green by now."

"Sure." He did as asked, seating himself on the edge of the sofa so he could watch Nick walking into the kitchen and pulling a bottle out of the fridge. Just as he had predicted, Nicky froze up and shuddered visibly at the sensation of glass in his hand. He'd seen it happen at the hospital too, every time Nick touched glass of any kind it made him flinch and tense up immediately. Still he kept forcing himself to touch, grip a drinking glass tight even though his hands shook uncontrollably and his jaws clenched while his breath hitched and sweat trickled down his temples. Or let his fingertips run briefly over the window and try to hide the shiver that ran through him. Nick's self imposed torture was touching glass. And every time he'd get that look, like he was being pulled into a maelstrom of emotions, threatening to suffocate him. Now his breath ran faster and he set the bottle down on the table, unable to carry it the brief distance between the fridge and the sofa. He was staring at it, leaving his hands to rest on the table on either side of the bottle . Bent slightly over the table he fought to get his breathing under control. Fingers clenched and knuckles whitening.

"Nicky?" Warrick rose and walked over, placing a hand on the shivering shoulder. "Don't do this to yourself. Give it some time."

Nick was still staring at the bottle, chest heaving and shivers wracking his entire body.

"Fuck Nicky," Warrick gathered him into his arms and turned him away from the bottle that seemed to have consumed his focus. "Stop hurting yourself like this, Nicky just stop, please."

He cupped his hand over Nick's tense neck, sensing the pulse throbbing wildly against his fingertips. Pulling Nick's head onto his shoulder he closed his eyes, fighting his own damned tears. Nick's hair tickled his cheek and the forced breaths were hot in the crook of his neck. He felt moisture against his neck and Nick let out a suffocated sob. Warrick didn't say a word, he just held on until the shivers ebbed and the trembling subsided. The door bell rang once but Warrick didn't move, not until the fourth ring when Nick freed himself and mumbled that it was probably the pizza. Reluctantly, Warrick let go and pulled out a chair, ordering Nick to sit down. He never took his eyes off Nick as he walked to the door, took the boxes and paid the man clad in striped pants and a baseball cap. Not once did his eyes stray off the man at the kitchen table, wiping his face with his sleeve.

He put the pizza boxes on the table, taking the bottle and placing it on the counter, out of sight, before he got silverware and paper towels out. Knowing Nick, he hadn't asked Gil to get him paper or plastic throwaway cups. Nick was determined to get over it in his own headstrong way, and he was losing big this time.

The door opened and Warrick was startled to notice that Grissom walked in, unannounced, like he belonged. His heart dropped when he saw Gil place Nick's keys besides the phone, like it was an old habit for Gil to walk in and out of Nick's house. Gil must have caught both his astonishment and Nicky's desolation because he shot Warrick a quizzical glance. A glance that Warrick chose to ignore totally.

"I put your keys by the phone Nicky," Grissom spoke softly. "Sorry it took me so long, there was a line at the pharmacist."

"Thanks," was all Nick managed, his hands still trembling slightly.

Grisso looked at Warrick again, his eyes more inquisitive than ever.

"You need to eat man," Warrick said. "That hospital food can ki- make anybody sick."

Grissom was already putting the groceries into the fridge and stopped momentarily to dig into the bag. "I picked up those throw away plates and utensils, cups and everything you need to entertain. I guess you're going to have a lot of visitors and it'll just be easier."

A bag of blue paper cups landed on the kitchen table and at that moment Warrick could have kissed Gil Grissom. Of course Gil had noticed, Gil noticed everything.

But so did Nick.

Warrick watched his eyes dart between the two of them, an expression of total defeat settling on his face. He rubbed his forehead and looked away, studying the floor in an attempt to hide the pain that flashed in the dark eyes. Nick knew that they knew and it was killing him. Hell, there was no way to get through this without bumping into mundane situations that would hurt Nick in one way or another. All he wanted to do right now was pull Nick up from that chair and hold him again, tell him to forget being brave and stoic for a moment and just fucking breathe.

Gil beat him to it, he filled one of the cups with orange juice and placed it under Nick's nose.

"You need to drink something before you take your medication or it'll knock you off your feet." He placed the meds within Nick's reach and turned away to put the last items into the fridge.

It gave Nick something to do and broke the awkward tension. He was almost back to normal when Gil pulled out a chair and checked the pizza boxes in search of his order.

They ate in silence, Warrick still watching Nick. He didn't even finish the entire pizza. The antibiotics made him nauseous and he had already lost a few pounds. With half of the pizza left Nick looked like he was ready to throw up.

Warrick was instantly on his feet, taking the box and stuffing it in the fridge. He felt Gil's knowing eyes on him, not puzzled any longer. But he didn't care. Why he ever had he didn't understand, not now when he turned around and found Nick smiling at him. A small and grateful smile, like he had just saved his life.

"Shouldn't you be going Gil? I thought you said you had a meeting with Ecklie tonight." he asked without looking at the man in question.

"I gather there's no need for Catherine to come over?" Gil's voice was steady and calm, laying out the fact camouflaged as a question.

"No." Warrick's eyes never left Nick's and the smile that Nick gave him had his heart melting into a puddle of helpless surrender.

They spent hours sitting on the sofa, sipping orange juice and watching Discovery Channel. Warrick was feeling his limbs getting heavier by the minute, sleep threatening to overtake him totally. But he wouldn't let that happen, he was here for Nick's sake and Nick needed watching. He would not sleep. Not until Nick slept in peace, without any twitches and turns, without the ever present looming darkness he still spotted lurking in Nick's eyes. When Nick slept peacefully, then he'd finally close his eyes and pray that the nightmares would leave both of them alone.

But it was hard to stay awake; he sat so close to Nick that he could feel every breath the man took.

Every move he made as he stretched his legs in front of him and sank deeper into the cushions. But Warrick wasn't sure if this peace he felt was real or if Nick was trying to fool him yet again. He was drifting in the shadow land between sleep and wakefulness when Nick put a hand on his knee before he rose. "I'm taking a shower. I trust you can find the way to the bed by yourself, am I right? If not, I'll come get you."

Too tired to react he kept his eyes shut and merely listened when the shower was turned on, the sound of water running lulling him further into the alluring veils of sleep - but there was something nagging in the back of his mind, something so strong that he finally opened his eyes. Bed and Nick? Would he be able to survive that without a major meltdown of some sort?

His eyes were drawn to the open bathroom door, was that an invitation? Then he remembered; Nick's shower was a cubicle. A small square of perfectly claustrophobic plastic and tile walls and Nick was in there all alone.

"Shit," he cursed and leapt in the direction of the open door. The water was still running and he peeked inside, just to assure himself everything was all right. The sight that met him had his heart throbbing in his throat, ready to explode. Nick was standing very still in the running water, face hidden in his palms.

He didn't actually think, with two strides he was under the water, turning Nick around and pulling him into an embrace. "It's all right Nicky, it's all right," he mumbled into his ear, stroking the wet hair and rocking him slowly. "Breathe baby, breathe."

"Huh?"

Nick freed himself and looked rather startled. "Rick, you all right?"

Warrick was speechless again.

"Got shampoo in my eyes," Nick mumbled and rubbed his left eye. "Shouldn't you take your clothes off if you wanna shower?"

Warrick froze, feeling like the perfect fool. Fully clad and the hot water pelting down hard on him. Heart still beating in a panicked pace, breath running ragged.

Nick reached up and stroked Warrick's cheek with his thumb languidly. "God. You're a mess Rick." Pulling his face down Nick reached up to place a kiss at the corner of his mouth.

Why Warrick started crying then he didn't quite understand. Last he remembered actually crying was in third grade when he got beat up by a couple of seventh graders. Even then he had hid in the toilet for hours not to let anybody see the shameful tears. Now tears mingled with the water and he sobbed helplessly as Nick's fingers opened the buttons of his shirt, peeled it off him and dropped it to the floor outside the shower. Nick said nothing, just undressed him completely while Warrick cried silently, mumbling that he should be the one taking care of Nick between sobs.

And all of a sudden Warrick knew why he was crying. This wasn't just sex, it was love. A love he hadn't even known he was capable of, a love that was almost painful in its intensity. He reached for Nick, pulling him yet again into his embrace. Tracing his lips down the strong neck, fingers following the lines of strong arms. What Warrick really wanted was to reach right into Nick's heart, curl up and live forever between the beats. Stay there, floating through his veins and keeping him safe, always. But his hands couldn't stop wandering all over the body pressed to his.

"I didn't want you to see me like this," Nick mumbled into his ear, sending a shiver down his spine.

"Shut up," Warrick replied softly, "shut up and kiss me, fool. You've never been more beautiful, never."

Nick actually chuckled and lips devoured his, a softness in the kiss that had Warrick's ears humming

Then it deepened and Warrick stopped breathing. When Nick broke the kiss Warrick opened his eyes, gazing into the warmth in Nick's as he felt hands stroking his chest teasing a pattern of feathery caresses down his abdomen. Then a hand closed over his erection and he moaned. Nick leaned him up against the tile wall and pressed his lips to the nipple aching for attention.

"Nicky, no," Warrick pleaded, he should be the one to be the one setting the pace, the one being there to care and offer support. And for the first time in his life he knew he wanted to be taken by a man. He needed Nicky sheathed inside of him, taking him to the brink and pushing him over.

"Why not Rick?" Nick whispered in his ear while his hands fondled the straining erection.

All the reply Warrick could give was a groan from deep in his throat. Nicky's hands were masterful, knowing all the right spots, intuitively finding the right pressure and pace of the strokes. By now Warrick was moaning loudly, head tilted back and hips meeting Nick's strokes, faster and faster with an abandon that made his breath hitch. When Nick's lips suckled an erect nipple Warrick helplessly let go, his knees buckling from the force of the orgasm as he gasped for air and trembled in Nick's arms. Lights flashed behind his closed eyelids, the scent of Nick invading his shivering form, exploding into his consciousness like tantalizing fireworks, opening the floodgates and all his tension flooded out of him in a tidal wave to land on Nick's abdomen and chest.

His rested his head on Nick's shoulder, breathing raggedly with tears again pooling in his eyes. God, how he loved this man holding him steady and waiting for him to come down to earth again.

"Nicky, Nicky, Nicky," Warrick mumbled into the steady shoulder."What are you doing to me?"

"You're such a mess man," Nick spoke tenderly, water running down his face like tears when he lifted Warrick's face into his hands and looked long and hard with growing concern. "You need some sleep Warr', let's go to bed. We'll sleep, Rick, and tomorrow everything will be better."

"Tomorrow."

Warrick tasted the word like it was brand new and full of promise. Coming from Nick it sounded the closest to paradise he'd ever come.

He cupped Nick's face in his hands and kissed him, a kiss as full of promise and hope as the word tomorrow. He'd be happy as long as he had Nick by his side today, tomorrow and every day . That was all he really asked for, Nick warm, breathing and alive. Nick in all his tomorrows.

He lay in bed with Nick sprawled partly over him, holding Nick's hand as it lay quietly without shaking, listening to Nick's even breaths as he slept peacefully.

Tomorrow he'd tell Nicky he loved him.


End file.
